Mom of 5 with breast cancer

To start with I am a very organized high energy mother of five children ages 15,11,6,4,and 18 months.
I am married to my soul mate of 20 years and live a very happy life.


My journey is just beginning as I found a lump only a week ago during a breast exam.
In one weeks time I have experienced mammograms, ultra sounds, biopsy's, and a breast cancer diagnosis on day 6 .
I will meet with a surgeon today on day 7 of finding that lump for a date I'm told within a week of having a double mastectomy and a lymph node removed.


In one short week my life already feels forever changed and its only my beginning. I already feel I learning a large amount of new words, statics, and procedures.


I have also learned that I was not correct in thinking (no family history of any cancer), (normal breast exam three months prior) and (a normal mammogram one year prior) means I'm healthy and such a low risk for cancer that I've carried a false sense of security.


Facts I'm told by my radiologist are, the larger lump I found still does not show up on a mammogram and only on the ultra sound. Most women with a first time diagnosis have no history in their families.


I have already experienced a vast array of emotions like brief out bursts  of anger and random tears and fear I did not see coming.  I do not however have any blame nor self pity. Bad things happen to great people and breast cancer is a terrible disease but is survivable!
I do however feel an overwhelming drive to fight this and win the battle. I find my self  ready for the double mastectomy as I want this cancer off my body. I'm scarred of chemo and fatigue as I do not want to be limited to my mommy time with my children.
I feel each small step I learn more and feel God will give me the strength to endure all and become healthy.


At the beginning of this journey I find I'm in for a long haul as are my kids, husband and family and I will grow, learn to let go of things like control and a clean home. I fully except my family to endure big changes but also in the end to become even stronger as we are a great team.


I'm completely humble and in aw to neighbors, family and friends ready to put their lives on hold to help us in this journey.


I know there are people who have far greater problems than I. I know there are also many people in my shoes with breast cancer.


I'm also coping with releasing the anger and disappointment in neighbors, friends and family who show no support and have not even reached out with a kind word of support.
I must realize not all people are as strong as I am, and people handle stress and bad new differently. I can not take it personal or worry about.


Until later I must go make a child's lunch, get her off to school and meet a surgeon to have my list of question answered today. I will be looking for a support group today.
I will update my meeting with my surgeon today.