Monday, February 8, 2016

I am just shy of my 43rd birthday, and its been 2 years since my TNBC breast cancer diagnosis. It has not been that long ago I fought and won my battle.



We have arrived in February 2016.  I am just a few months shy of my 43rd birthday and two years since my TNBC breast cancer diagnosis (July 2014). I find both surreal, as when I look at my teenage boys (that look like grown men) and my elementary daughters, with my youngest son still in diapers I certainly do not feel 43. My thoughts are "wow I'm not old enough to have teenagers" even tho we all realize I certainly am. With my having younger children, my mind plays tricks on me and makes me feel ,and think I'm younger. A blessing that helps me endure the marathon of parenting, and raising five kids.
As far as approaching two years since my stage 3 diagnosis, it really blows me away. I sit here healthy, and part of me reflects on my journey of chemo, three surgeries, scans, and all in between as it feels like a decade ago. Then there my three month tumor markers (blood test) coming in two days, and the insurance premium that increased by 35%, the hospital bills from Novembers surgery, my copay's for screenings, that are a constant reminder it was not that long ago I fought and won my battle.

Some of my goals have rendered a second place to my life and everyday responsibilities that raising five kids, a large family entails. No crutches or excuses, as I would not change anything, not even my cancer diagnosis two years ago. Every step, all the falls, only made me even stronger and given my more ability to be even more effective in my everyday life. You must fall to be able to get up, and stand stronger. I have held true to some of my goals, and continue to reach out and help others as I am able.

Its interesting for me to hear celebrities (not all) complain about their personal breast cancer journeys, and how its been so tough on them. I would hope they would turn it into something positive and help others as they too have a responsibility to do so. Money is never a cure all, and certainty has a negative ,down side. As I personality struggle with mountains of medical bill, high insurance premiums, co insurance, and copay's, I absolutely still have it remarkably well. I meet single Moms who are fighting cancer alone, they have all the financial difficulties as I do. They are also holding down full time jobs, and raising children all while enduring chemo and surgeries.
I have a husband who is so much more than my partner, he is my best friend. He has held my hand through every scan (when I was feeling claustrophobic) he was in the radiation room right beside me. He has wiped my tears, picked me up off bathroom floors when chemo made me ill. He doesn't see my scars and always tells me how strong and beautiful I am. He has been to every appointment and continues to be there for all my test and check up's currently. My teenagers have baby sat countless hours for mom to see doctors. My seventeen year old offered and gave up his actual 17th birthday (11-12) with all his friends to babysit by himself all day, and car pool all his siblings, so I could have my final surgery on (11-12). I am blessed and extremely  lucky to have the family I have. We are a great team. I could not of fought and won my battle with out them holding me up. My life I live is a blessing everyday. I will never forget my oldest sons face when he looked at me on Mothers day and reminded me how blessed I am to be here with them and to of won the battle. I am healthy ,my children and husband are healthy, I truly have no problems. Money will come and go but it will never define me, or prohibit me from living my life in any way.
As I approach my birthday and cancer anniversary, I am relived all treatments are over. I feel amazingly blessed, fortunate, to be healthy and loved. I'm here, and I'm good, I'm really good. I have already hit my "power ball" lottery in life, and cant be happier with my outcome. Cancer never made me weak, it made me steel.

I pray for all the less fortunate people and children as we all battle something.

I say "God is great each and everyday"!

With faith, perseverance, and a positive mindset not only can we over come all battles, we can lift and help others as well!

I have pure faith my tumor markers will be very low~ I will update the results in a few weeks.