I will not acknowledge "what if's" nor will I entertain fear~

I have maintained a sense of peace and well being since this journey started three short weeks ago.
I had a brief moment of uncertainty in the beginning of my diagonals due to fear of the unknown.
I have learned more in three short weeks about breast cancer as I feel I have been educated in a year long coarse and have much more to still learn. Once I arrived with a full insight to this disease I have won every battle through my inner strength and complete resolve. The uplifting prayers by all and God whom is carrying me and is my best ally I have known to my core I will be cancer free and will be enabled to help others the rest of my long life.


I have been truly amazed by all the "angels among us" and great people I have the privilege of meeting or knowing they pray for myself and family along this remarkable journey.
I received a call from dust and mop and maid service willing to donate a monthly cleaning for my home during chemo. I'm told often this blog inspires people as this is the entire reason I write it, and I pray it helps others. However its the compassion and caring of all people, charities ,medical workers, churches, neighbors, friends and family that inspire me!

I have had so many miracles and silver linings bestowed on my self and family, I find myself saying "God I understand this journey is your will for me to share and help others" and I will not disappoint you!

My new challenge in front of me is for mild side effects  chemo,  so I'm able to continue normalcy and be a mother.
My chemo regimen to shrink and elevate my tumor and cancer. I have felt peace as I knew in my soul the BRAC 1 & 2 would be negative and IS! As I know God put my surgeon and oncologist in my path to heal me and have me (NED) no evidence of disease and cancer free in January at my time of surgery!

My children who rally around me and step into big shoes, and my husband who continues to hold down a challenging career and still step into my shoes, move me and I have no words other than I'm so blessed for my family!

I'm taking my children to a charity family counselor today who for small donations talk to my kids about moms cancer, give them insight, comfort and security.
The counselors have an amazing charity through Rex hospital called Kids Can that feeds families dinner and splits kids up in age appropriate groups so the too know others their age have parents or family members that are effected by cancer and can share similar experiences!

My goal is to continue normalcy on my road to recovery as my children have worked so hard to in their lives to maintain A, B honor roll, make the football team, learn to read. I am so proud of my husband and children as I too see them "paying it forward" and helping others!
My children will continue to climb toward their goals in life and in the school year and not falter as their mom climbs toward a full recovery!

Please continue to pray for mild side effects of chemo, and chemo wiping out my disease.
Please pray for the less fortunate people as well.

God Bless and I hope your day is full of silver linings

If you are able to help my families medical  expensiveness

www.gofundme.com/I-will-beat-cancer

I will relish in all great things and blessings!

Yesterday (Monday) was a wonderful day! Not only and I feeling energetic after chemo I received some very goods news I consider a game changer! I also had the privilege in meeting the director of 1 in 9 charity I will talk about in detail.


I received a call telling me my BRCA 1 and 2 appear to be negative. It seems I carry NO gene mutation. This is a true blessing and significant. It means my daughters nor sons sister or niece carry the BRAC gene and will not be at further risk for cancer or their children (my grand children) some day. It also means at my time of surgery (double mastectomy) I will not have my ovaries nor tubes removed!
I did however test for Variants of Uncertain Significance (VUS). This changes nothing above as I'm in only the 15% of breast cancer patients that test for this. What it means to me is once I'm whole and healed I will help researchers and pharmaceutical companies with my DNA help further under stand triple negative and VUS so we can help others with this disease. Once I have a better understanding after my genetics class I will update further.
Currently I will celebrate being considered BRAC 1 & 2 negative!

I have maintained Gods guidance through this entire journey, and my need to reach out and help others! I have a responsibility and am driven to do so in all ways possible.

I had the privilege of meeting the director of www.1in9.com yesterday. 1 in 9 is a breast cancer charity that provides  meals and transportation for women whom do not own cars and would for go treatment if not for this charity.
It provides grocery's, diapers, and medical expensive s so family's can get proper treatment to become cancer free.
I was taken by the founders remark in the paper "God wants us to use our experience to help others". I could not agree more.
I will be attending their Pink Tie Gala April 2015! I will be cancer free and have completed all my treatments as of March 2015 so I will have a reason to celebrate my 42nd birthday in April cancer free at this Gala! 

I have now WON so many battles and will continue to do so! 

I am greatly optimistic and feel chemo will continue to be a road non to difficult treatment journey as I am able to have normalcy with minimal down time so far! I expect to be able to be a wife and mother on my road to recovery and through treatment as "I Can Do All Things Through Christ Who Strengthens Me!

Prayers we need are my chemo is shrinking my tumor and killing my cancer! In a few weeks that my tumor lacks and is smaller in size!

Please consider if you are able to help and please keep us lifted in prayer!

God Bless!


www.gofundme.com/I-will-beat-cancer

Feeling good today after chemo Friday! I will not falter! I will beat cancer!

I feel stead fast on my journey. I have not a moment of weakness only resolve to not only beat cancer but to help others on their journeys not falter but to pay it forward the rest of my long life! I choose life and to live it to the fullest!


I'm having a wonderful day with my children and am gearing up for chemo round #2 next week.

Anxiously awaiting my BRCA gene test result this week but have complete faith in the Lord!

I'm adding some pictures and will update my blog with the test results!

Remember Please do your breast exams!
Do it tonight!


God Bless

Heather

www.gofundme.com/I-will_beat_cancer

My blog is to give strength and hope to others and I'm a tool in doing so

I received a phone call from church today telling me in on their prayer list and a member shared this blog.

I'm told an older member who doesn't use a computer took special notice of my journey and would like to call me! I'm anxiously awaiting the call.

I have mentioned how in awe and humbled I am to know strangers who are new found friends and allies are praying for myself and my family.

I'm not a writer nor has it ever been my strong suit so when I started this blog I prayed to uplift and help others so it flows from my heart and I feel a higher power!

Cancer nor any other life's challenges by no means should have you falter. It gives me strength and reserve to know God is caring me through and all my new found angels among us and allies are enabling me through prayer, meal deliveries, and heath care providers to heal and recover to fight to become cancer free!

Our world is full of such amazing, selfless, generous people I have no words other than God Bless you!

My chemo 1st dose was Friday as I feel better today. Was able to move around and dress my girls today as I'm grateful for a little energy.
My husband has been filling my "big shoes" for him my soul mate I love more than life itself!

The prayers I need is for a negative BRCA gene this week
And by mid August tumor shrinkage so we know I'm on the correct drugs in chemo and its KILLING my cancer!


If you can help please either (medical and prescription bills link below)


God Bless You!

www.gofundme.com/I-will-beat-cancer




 

The Pro's completely out weigh the Con's however a few bumps Ive already rolled over

  My first chemo started yesterday (Friday) as I hear many stories of how is builds or the effects on others as I appreciate them all we are simply so different in a variety of ways
I've never been a medicine girls so an occasional Tylenol  is what I'm accustomed to  now a new medicine bag not sure how I will do.
My chemo was given with anti nausea drugs
I'm now home and having mild side effects
My mouth tastes different and my tummy upset I can't wait for my nausea pills at bed and in the morning so hoping my tummy feels better

My port is healing and feels better every day

The chemo is not bad and doesn't hurt at all you sit in a recliner and visit and talk. It's simply the after effects I can't be sure of yet
I appreciate I feel some mild side effects so so as it makes me believe it's working very well and killing my cancer.
My husband was able to adjust my meds it turn has settled my stomach and got me out of bed. I'm a bit loopy not too much. 

My nurse and oncologist staff are amazing with all they are not only very special people they are angels in this fight. I'm completely in awe how caring they are, their patience to help in all aspects and angles among us!
My nurse has five kids of her own and selflessly gives I just couldn't of asked for better health care providers in this journey to be cancer free  she enables me to continue to be a Mommy.
My physicians assistant another angel she is a mom too, who is  so caring and passionate in my fight and others fighting! I'm completely impressed the staff that makes my kids puppets by hand. My PA that gets me a grocery card to help with food and prescriptions.

Their are so many allies I have in this fight I have no doubt I will be cancer free before Christmas.
I'm very optimist I'm

on the correct path and my chemo will work as Ive always maintained that!
My hubby (Rob) who has turned into my home nurse is helps manage my side effects and gets me through. My kids are amazing as they are pulling together too.

I hope my next chemo I feel a bit less sick however the chemo is working (so it is what it is)

I am so blessed for neighbors and new found friends that drop off meals and help with our kids!

God Bless you all!

Please keep praying for a negative BRCA

Please pray the chemo shrinks my tumor soon


If you are able to help with my medical and precipitations the link below


www.gofundme.com/I-will-beat-cancer

My breast cancer will not get in the way!

It's only been two short weeks ago but amazes me how much I've grown
New medical terms and procedures by no means have made me weak. I take from this journey knowledge and strength I fully intend on killing this beast I hope to help others find their inner strength and a little peace

I've decided to go back to nursing in a few years once I'm fully recovered and when our youngest starts school as my mind will never forget this journey I hope to inspire others who may not be as strong that breast cancer by no means says their journey is done

I watch my children run and play and realize I choose to not let cancer get in my way! 

I met another team of angels among us today selfless and caring that got me through a difficult procedure 

I had a different port put in as it's a power infusion port. The difference is my port allows not only chemo but infusions and blood draws as well. (Have I mention it's purple)
My veins have given out  after two short weeks of tests and scans so six attempts from those kind and compassionate angels we could not start an IV, so this morning we where on to plan B
I went in to surgery sober and wide awake had lidocaine in my neck so we could insert  my port. Another battle won no matter how we arrived its all lining up and Gods on my side! 

Chemo tomorrow morning begins as I celebrate killing this monster within!!

My neck is only a little bit sore and I will heal very quickly within a week or so and my new found port is a huge relief

I will update after chemo and God bless you all I truly amazes by your kind thoughts and calls!

Please keep the prayers coming our way as we need a negative Brca test and a great response to chemo!

God bless you all and if you can help with my medical bills and prescriptions

My account link is below

Www.gofundme.com/I-will-beat-cancer

I will update tomorrow night after my 1st chemo treatment

Every battle won I celebrate

I have been through two MRI 's, surgical ribbons placed under my skin,
Pet Scans, heart muga test, blood test biopsies,  4 ultrasounds, seven IV's
And countless needle sticks all in the past week!
I look like a pin cousin battered and bruised but none of this matters as it's all been good news!
Not that cancer is good at all I'm just excited it's all lining up  to watch my cancer fall!
I attend to knock it out of my body till it's non existent at all

The  Brest MRI started it all my cancers only on the right side
That's good news considering it has not spread to my left
Also great for radiation later down the line as it keeps my heart out of the way

Then there was my Pet scan a radiative dye where I couldn't hug my children for 24 hours and could only send their daddy when listening to cries
No cancer in any organs only in my breast and a few lymph nodes only

Muga test to study my heat a large gage IV that was painful is used to extract red blood cells mix with a dye then return them to my body and study my heart
All looks great

Another MRI of my brain was scanned was difficult to not feel too confined in a tube with a helmet over your head  by My husband stood and stretch so he could hold one hand and that's how I got through
Again all look great

I have a port surgically put in place Thursday under my skin
For the duration of the chemo through December
I'm told it feels like a rock under my skin

Chemo starts Friday as I'm given many drugs handfuls to take home and shots to give myself
And bags full of pills I must take through it all
I can't wait to start the chemo so I can KILL IT ALL!

This new life style is only teporary it's an incovience but
Mandatory I pray for patience as Im always busy I need to rest more so my healing will be plenty

I have shaved my head as I am proactive will not sit by and watch it all fall out
As I do not allow cancer to upset me
I'm told in my cancer learn all about me class I will be fatigue and sick
However I'm determined to be a good mother reguardles of it

My co pays and finances are bleak but I refuse to worry
As God has always kept us on our feet

I chose to be cancer free in December at the time of my mastectomy
I have half the battle won and am ready to fight cancer doesn't have a chance
Now that I have this insight

My dream team of oncologist, nurses, surgeon,
And medical personal have God guiding them and we will prevail!

Thanks to my my, friends both old and new,
Neighbors and coworkers and strangers too

You enable us to fight and win this battle too!

Our medical account if you or someone you know is able to help is

www.gofundme.com/I-will-beat-cancer

Perspectives change and life styles quickly I'm truly humbled by so many!

Before this life altering event my triple negative breast cancer or (TNBC) Stage lll

Its embarrassing and ridiculous how I let the little non important things become a front runner. I realize we are all human however some more gracious than I.

I complained about getting rid of my plush SUV Armada and driving a mini van.
I had no patience for other drivers on the road or car pool.
I lost patience with my kids and had date night more often.

I realize we are not meant to be perfect and I life is about realizing your mistakes or your steps in the direction you do not want to be in and turning your life's  direction around to be positive and benefit both you and others!

I've said before bad thing happen to good people and my life is about getting through what ever it is if walking, running, or crawling to the other end and turning to steel. That is what makes life great you can change it!

My perspective is so different and my eyes wide opened that the only bad part is for me it took a life event to do so, however life now has my undivided attention. The little things are so trivial to me now and I choose to feel and see others that have problems far bigger than me.
 I choose to beat cancer and have no self pity, become stronger and go on to help others any way I can.

I'm truly humbled  by the support great wishes and thoughts!

I see my husbands coworkers dropping off meals
The medical providers staying late after the office has closed
The medical providers that take my calls in a busy day, hold my hand and lift me through  this journey
 My neighbors who are willing to help my kids get to school or set up meal train to sign up to feed our kids
Total strangers who are bring meals
The countless prayer list's
The offers to taxi us or take our dog
My family willing to move in and put their life on hold
Our friends, family and new found friends uplifting words
My oldest friends and new ones that reach out to me
New friends positive stories of survival
People who admit to not being religious but told me they prayed for me
Therapist who want to help my children along this journey
We consider you all allies in my journey to beat cancer and thank you from the bottom of our hearts!

Its hard when you still look and feel healthy!

Someone asked me about losing my hair and breast, how do I feel about that?
As I said the days of  worry about "the little things are long gone"

I'm grateful the hard part of my treatment is first my chemo starts this Friday July 25 and I've never been more ready for anything in my life. I will end chemo CANCER FREE on December 18th and will run to my double mastectomy late December, then radiation. The easy part of my treatment after chemo!

Prayers I need now are

Muga scan (heart) looks great tomorrow

My Brain MRI tomorrow looks great ( those who know me personality realize my brain will never look "normal" but it needs to be cancer free) HA HA

My cancer shrinks up and DIES upon my first two chemo treatments we see tumor shrinkage

My BRCA gene is negative

Cancers never easy for anyone and us Mommies must push through it for our little ones!


If you can help in other ways please

www.gofundme.com/I-will-beat-cancer

I will take all positives from this journey and help others!

I feel over whelmed financially as my health insurance requires me to pay 6350 out of pocket then I have a 30% co insurance and high prescription costs not covered and I'm only at the beginning of my road to recovery. My treatment plan will carry me to April 2015 so yet another 6350 in January to yet pay again. I had a required PET SCAN Friday that cost 4750 and I owe 30% of that. Most of my upfront treatment (will not bill me) and we are required to pay our part of front. With five kids it takes what we make as we don't have discretionary income Money should not be my concern and how I will purchase a prescription but sadly in our era of poor insurance it is. I do not want my 5 children to lose our home because we are paying for my treatment and cant pay our mortgage. I have peace knowing God will provide and I will make a full recovery after my long road and battle. If you are able to help financially please do as myself and children thank you from the bottom of our hearts


Our go fund me if you are able to contribute is

www.gofundme.com/I-will-beat-cancer


Please know I have peace in knowing I will survive my breast cancer and walk away a survivor! I will go on to form a support group and help others. 
I will raise my children to be strong and know that life is about taking any challenge no matter how big or small and turning it into a positive to grow strong, and help others! 
I will take from this journey all great things and positives experiences and knowledge to move closer to recovery and share with others! 
I will not allow any negatives to win over me! God is great and so are all you angels among us! 
I'm ready to fight as I've never been more ready for anything in my entire life!
I will walk away cancer free and I will spend the rest of my long life helping others and raising my children to do so as well!


Please keep praying for a negative brain scan, my heart to look great and for  very successful chemo! 

GOD BLESS YOU ANGELS AS MY FAMILY APPRECIATES ALL THE PRAYERS AND SUPPORT!

Angels that walk among us and my hopes and fears

I realize triple negative  stage lll breast  cancer is very serious and a very long
Road to recovery  I'm not sugar coating as it's a terrible disease

I remain focused on over a 77 % survival rate among all stages I do consider variations

This journey tho scary as hell has so many silver linings, blessings, and lessons learned and to be discovered
I feel I have already received many blessing as I stated my body scan had no cancer in my organs

I have met many amazing people and some who are total strangers willing to take time out of their lives to offer meals
Neighbors who will walk my 1st grader to school as I will have a lower immune system thru Decembers chemo treats
Phone calls and messages from cancer survivors who help with answers and moral support

Myself and husband of 20 years have always done things on our own
We have never asked nor been able to accept help but as our up hill battle begins we find this new life we must change and grow to be successful along this journey and fight to become cancer free

Its important to know your help, calls, support, and prayers that truly make a difference in our lives and you are all my allies in my recovery to win this war and become cancer free

I'm up for the battle and to start chemo as I've never been more ready for anything in my life!

I choose to win over this disease
Walk hand and hand beside my children as they grow and to help others as they are helping me!

Please pray for a negative  brain scan and great results to chemo next week!

Know you are all angles and feel you are our new found friends and family!

I will update my blog early next week as soon as I have my brain scan results!!

Treatment and a few small battles won checked off the list!

We now have a very clear picture of my disease of breast cancer and my coarse of treatment.


My MRI shows what we know tumor in right breast and lymph node.


My Pet Scan shows NO cancer in any organs (prayers answered)however  it does show a very small area beginning in breast tissue (thus places me in stage 3) triple negative. Do not let this scare you as triple negative has a great success with responding to chemo and a much smaller chance of recurring later.
We will know once I have two chemo treatments under my belt, but are confidant the tumor will begin to shrink.



I have a heart and brain scan (normal before chemo) early next week. Then we attend 101 lessons and information session on chemo before I begin.
Chemo should start next Thursday in hopes I feel better by Monday so Rob can return to work and I more energy to be a mom.


My regimen and family is my concern currently as my chemo begins next week I will be on an every two week schedule (Thursday's) through Sept 4th. Once I think I know how my body will  react then we change things up.
Keep in mind kids are back to school and Addison an additional car pool as its preschool this fall, and Jackson playing middle school football.
Life goes on and we must be parents in spite of what life throws at us~ I will live my life everyday to the fullest and enjoy every second with my kids and family.


Here's the change


Chemo starts on 9-18 with new drug's (no telling my reaction)  once a week until 12/18 with a week off for Halloween and a week off for Thanksgiving`


Mastectomy end of December or first week of January


Radiation 5 days a week until end of March


Rob and I are  great team and we are so accustomed to doing all that its very difficult to ask or except help. However this disease will take some battling and Rob cant lose his job nor the kids lives stop on my road to recovery until next March!
There are many variables and every battle won is a step to recovery and a good prognosis.
I have good days where I'm very optimistic and have low moments of fear! However each battle won no matter how I crawl or pull is a step for myself and family to a full recovery.




The silver linings today are!


I have wonderful family and neighbors that are willing to assist in helping me get well.


My PET Scan shows its not in my organs.


I have a "dream team" in an oncologist and surgeon


I have people who are keeping myself and family in there prayers.


We have the privilege of meet angels among us and health care providers that make the difference


Please pray my brain scan and heart scan are normal.
Please pray I continue to mark of more battles won every day and my responding well to chemo and the drugs given.
Please pray for my energy and health during chemo and the toll this will take on my children, Rob and family.
Please pray my BRCA gene test comes back negative.


I'm truly humbled and amazed by the prayers and good wishes!




We will be living in a hotel Monday night home on Friday as my builder is fixing the interior of my home due to the foundation failure.  Thought it was important to get the home repairs completed and of our plates!


I'm ready to start chemo next week and start KILLING this cancer!

http://www.gofundme.com/I-will-beat-cancer

Finding Silver Linings in Breast Cancer

I have been exposed to a very different life and world in the last week and am only beginning my journey too many are also experiencing or have experienced. My out look and views are already changed and I'm learning new things every day. Many amazing people I've already met.

I have invasive ducal breast cancer (the most common) however I'm triple negative not so common
But my Her2 negative status reacts better to chemo just will need to find the correct drugs! Thus my wonderful oncologist.

My experiences I plan to share all along the way the good the bad and the gory and all the glory!

The small things like losing my breast and hair are truly not bothersome. Will look funny without eye brows or lashes tho. I will Google how long it takes for brows and lashes to regrow~ LOL

I did not realize during a mastectomy you lose your nipples too~ Just never thought of it but I hear after 5 kids you wake up with a much prettier pair~ See (silver lining)

My kids and husband are amazing and Robbie at 15 has given up his summer to baby sit as I'm at doctors or scans often. (Silver lining with my supportive family)

I had a MRI today and wonderful nurses made the experience easier to endure.

I am having a PET Scan in the morning tomorrow (Friday) and am praying the cancer is only in my breast. I meet with my new best friend my oncologist directly after and will then have a complete picture of my illness, treatment and prognosis.
I'm not expecting to rest well tonight as I'm ready to know all, wrap my head around it and have my chemo kill it and rid my body of this breast cancer disease.

I'm already seeing signs in Delaney behavior and she at a young 6 cried last night at bed time and asked if i'm going to heaven. I am direct and honest and tell my kids my prognosis is very good and I plan on being in their lives and celebrating each step they take by their side!
We have reached out to a resource  teacher who will be sending us great support group and groups for children to better understand and put their fears at ease. I will be getting our 4 oldest kids involved soon.

My Pet Scan tomorrow , I will be drinking a radioactive solution. I will not be able to be near any child under 18 for 6 hours after, then cant hold or hug my kids until Saturday morning as its harmful to them.

Your breathing should be slow and calm for my MRI this morning so I was given a small amount of val um (Ive never had) feeling sleeping and a bit light headed still.

My hubby hand  made me an amazing paper rose and palm tree during my MRI and was a (silver lining)

I'm collecting special trinkets along my journey and my 1st was my pink ribbon on my purse and 2nd pink key chain. I know have my favorites yet Robs gifts.

I'm scared as hell today and ready to get through my scan and meet my wonderful oncologist tomorrow.


I'm including pictures of my trinkets

Please pray and know I will beat cancer no matter my test results!

I will update tomorrow night as I will have a clear picture!

Please know its very difficult financially as we have 11,000 deductibles then 30% coinsurance and are looking upwards on tens of thousands in bills.  If you know a company or organizations that help fund or organize fund raisers please pass my info along!

http://www.gofundme.com/I-will-beat-cancer

My physical side of things Update~

We met the surgeon yesterday and learned I'm her2 negative and most are positive.
Difference is my cells are not fueled by hormones  and will require chemo. We knew
my treatment plan will include chemo, mastectomy, and radiation.

I was blessed enough to be offered a braca test yesterday The test Angelina Jolie had.
It gives both of my daughters who are 6 and 4 years of age the knowledge to know if their Mom is negative or positive.
Pray for Neg~ Means my breast cancer is a fluke non hereditary  and my daughters are not passed the gene.
If POS~ Then we know to watch them early and monitor them.
Test itself was very cool where you swish regular scoop mouth wash in your cheeks and spit in a cup.
They retract your DNA from the mouth wash.
Results in two weeks.

My surgeons plan is to have chemo 1st reasons

A. It stops any spreading
B. shrinks my tumors and we can tell what chemo meds are working the best
C. It saves more lymph nodes (at time of mastectomy less removed)

I am having a MRI Thursday and a PET Scan Friday they are both ordered for all and almost always come back nothing seen. They check if cancer is anywhere else in the body so they know to treat it.
We all feel the results will be nothing seen elsewhere on Monday.

We will meet with my Oncologist next week and I'm told I have a "wicked sorcerer " for cancer drugs and he's one of the best oncologist in NC! He's brilliant!

We will then have an insight of the stage I'm in and if he agrees with my surgeon as to start chemo before surgery.

My Emotional Side ~

I'm ready for Monday to have MRI and Pet scan results and to meet my new best friend my oncologist
What he will tell us will be an insight to my prognosis and treatment over the next eight months and rest of my life.
I worry about my husband and 5 kids over this long road to recovery and whats ahead emotionally for them. I worry about Mommy feeling too sick to enjoy time with them.
I'm still very positive and certainly ready to put chemo behind us, get the hardest part of my treatment out of the way. My husbands strong and kids are amazingly strong too and our family will if we have to crawl come out on the other side of this even stronger!

Sometimes I want a crystal ball to look into the future and take a peak but then realize its best to not foresee the rough spots. All lessons I will learn in my step to recovery will be amazing. I have already meet many angels among us!

Reflections, redemption and second chances to rectify mistakes or change things for the better is what this and all living life is about!

Life is about working hard, loving hard, playing hard and helping others!

We make our own happiness!

When faced with any difficult situation even if I push, pull, or crawl to get to the other side the reward is far greater and only forms us all into steel!

I'm so blessed for my ineradicable family and life and I have my eye on the prize and plan on grabbing it and being whole and healthy by spring!

My prayers and love are with you all~

http://www.gofundme.com/I-will-beat-cancer

Plese view our go fund me page at http://www.gofundme.com/I-will-beat-cancer

Please view my go fund me page at


http://www.gofundme.com/I-will-beat-cancer

Mom of 5 with breast cancer

To start with I am a very organized high energy mother of five children ages 15,11,6,4,and 18 months.
I am married to my soul mate of 20 years and live a very happy life.


My journey is just beginning as I found a lump only a week ago during a breast exam.
In one weeks time I have experienced mammograms, ultra sounds, biopsy's, and a breast cancer diagnosis on day 6 .
I will meet with a surgeon today on day 7 of finding that lump for a date I'm told within a week of having a double mastectomy and a lymph node removed.


In one short week my life already feels forever changed and its only my beginning. I already feel I learning a large amount of new words, statics, and procedures.


I have also learned that I was not correct in thinking (no family history of any cancer), (normal breast exam three months prior) and (a normal mammogram one year prior) means I'm healthy and such a low risk for cancer that I've carried a false sense of security.


Facts I'm told by my radiologist are, the larger lump I found still does not show up on a mammogram and only on the ultra sound. Most women with a first time diagnosis have no history in their families.


I have already experienced a vast array of emotions like brief out bursts  of anger and random tears and fear I did not see coming.  I do not however have any blame nor self pity. Bad things happen to great people and breast cancer is a terrible disease but is survivable!
I do however feel an overwhelming drive to fight this and win the battle. I find my self  ready for the double mastectomy as I want this cancer off my body. I'm scarred of chemo and fatigue as I do not want to be limited to my mommy time with my children.
I feel each small step I learn more and feel God will give me the strength to endure all and become healthy.


At the beginning of this journey I find I'm in for a long haul as are my kids, husband and family and I will grow, learn to let go of things like control and a clean home. I fully except my family to endure big changes but also in the end to become even stronger as we are a great team.


I'm completely humble and in aw to neighbors, family and friends ready to put their lives on hold to help us in this journey.


I know there are people who have far greater problems than I. I know there are also many people in my shoes with breast cancer.


I'm also coping with releasing the anger and disappointment in neighbors, friends and family who show no support and have not even reached out with a kind word of support.
I must realize not all people are as strong as I am, and people handle stress and bad new differently. I can not take it personal or worry about.


Until later I must go make a child's lunch, get her off to school and meet a surgeon to have my list of question answered today. I will be looking for a support group today.
I will update my meeting with my surgeon today.