When you want to hear God laugh tell him your plans! I am kind and smile often as the the only control I have, is how I live and treat others! TNBC SURIVOR

When I won  the battle with cancer and earned the title of survivor I was told by other survivors I would forever be changed and view life differently.

It has been two years now, and I can now relate to what it really means when you survive and realize what a miracle it truly is to live life.

Simply because my health has returned and enabled me to return to normalcy in my family (I thank God) does not mean daily constant reminders are not present in my life.

I did chose to to retain my CFO role (running my entire family of 7) five are my children and take it up a notch to teach and encourage my kids to really live life.  We are cherishing all the experiences along with the ups and downs with our kids.

My daily life is busy and what I call constructive chaos.Our families day is filled with  fun, happiness, laughter, lots of taxi car time, hard work, team work, ups and downs, and a lot of love.

I am forever changed because in the back of my mind I always feel that I am a walking miracle. I fully realize I could of died and not be here to live life with my children and husband. I get teary eyed often, and emotional at mile stones and events. Sitting at freshman orientation in a gym full of people it is in the back of my mind I was very close to not being here. It a pure joy and a similar feeling when your child is born and laid on your chest. Its that kind of pure love and emotions that fill my heart when I get to meet the teacher, help look for colleges, shop for new school clothes, attend games, and share all life experiences with my kids. I am so blessed to be healthy and to share life with my kids, and husband.
I book trips and find a way to make them happen some how, so we can unplug, come together and share family time. I will never look back and say I should of. My kids are growing so quickly and I want to slow down and enjoy them.

I spoke with a friend yesterday who lost her husband, he unexpectedly died last week. She spoke to me about when your faith is tested in life. She is relying on her faith and family, She still has her sense of humor, is working and determined to continue normalcy as her husband would want. She is strong as we all grieve differently.

I personally have numerous grand parents in heaven who I consider to be my guardian angles. I think between my life and all five kids, they watch over us and really get a good laugh.

I also chose a path after my diagnosis to blog, share very personal details of my treatments and surgeries to help others battling cancer. I am continuously involved with agencies and groups that help others during their cancer battles. I develop friendships, share their battles, and sadly lose a few.
I see my scars daily from my bilateral mastectomy, I have blood test every there months, and yes although I'm very positive when I get a sniffle we do worry a bit as cancer will forever be in the back of my families minds.

My entire family has changed and it is certainly in many ways a positive change. We are stronger, we love fiercely. I do not let the small stuff weigh on me. I am not caught up in fear, anger nor will I ever let someone or a uncontrolled event take away my happiness. My emotions I wear, as I really enjoy every moment. So if you find me teary eyed know it is from joy and happiness.

Instead of having a cheering section when I was ill (the cheers rattled heaven) I can now be in the cheering section and you should hear my roar!

No complaints here as I'm happy, wide open, feeling all the love and really living life.

I have a blood test next week, and am planing our first lake trip Labor day weekend. We are in full swing football season is hear, as we are so excited to watch our freshman play. Our oldest is graduating early, as he only needed two more credits. He is heading to college. Our daughters will be in the 2nd grade and 1st grade. Our three year old is finally potty trained.

My prayers are always with my pink sisters. I am asking that you pray for a friend of mine who is stage 4. She has sustain (kept it under control) many years now, but is having symptoms and not doing well currently.

God is good each and everyday! When you want to hear God laugh tell him your plans!

I am kind and smile often as the only control I have, is how I live and treat others!