Fierce conversations had a positive impact on my defeating TNBC

Having the ability to have fierce conversations with people certainty played a positive roll in my treatments and conversations with my team of physicians. It also had  a positive impact in my defeating TNBC.

My entire life I have spoken  openly, am direct, express my opinions and emotions easily. As I became an adult I realized the importance of having fierce conversations with people and my family. It enabled me to have the ability to be my own advocate and spare myself  prolonged treatments I did not need. I had a fierce conversation with a Duke oncologist when I was completely cancer free having heart compilations due to treatment, who wanted to protocol me instead of having an individualized treatment plan for my personal needs. He had a answer in the form of a "pill" for everything and even tho I was cancer free and headed into a bilateral mastectomy he wanted me to endure the same treatment as his other patients whom still had cancer and sit for ten additional toxic chemo treatments. When I had a fierce conversation with him telling him no thank you, he then called me a bad mother who had five kids on the line, proceeded to tell me I would wake up with cancer all through my lymph nodes, refused to order my port removal, and attempt to bully me. All due to his God like complex, inability to individualize my treatment needs and my standing up and saying no thank you. Unfortunately many are so scared and due to the pressure they oblige "everything and the kitchen sink". Decisions never come easily as every decision made can be a game changer in the battle against cancer.
I had a fierce conversation with a leading radiologist whom told me I did not require radiation as I achieved a PCR (no cancer found and lymph nodes all clear) after my surgery. Not all agreed with that suggestion nor my decision. Again nothing ever comes easily in life and decisions are difficult when all the answers are not clear. I take a step back from all the opinions and suggestions, gather knowledge, pray and all becomes clear.
The fierce conversations I have strengthen my marriage and enabled us to remain friends and turn all hardships into strength and perseverance for the last twenty years.
I have always prayed people have conversations with their doctors, and do not allow fear to sway, or be a factor in their decision making.
I realize we all have different realities we live in, opinions, personality's and lives. There are many factors that contribute to our uniqueness, individuality, and us all being human. I feel the importance of communication, expression, and being honest with ourselves and others only enhances life and lives.
I am not always understood, agreed with, liked, or commended, however I am always honest with myself. My hope is my children will always be as well honest with themselves, and not let others actions or opinions weigh them down. It has not come easily at times to look inward at myself and be honest with myself, however I am certainly glad I did. Its invigorating to live life happily, on your own terms, to be steadfast in the decisions and actions that you feel you have made correctly. I want my children to not adapt to choices others wish or require, and to lead and follow their own will and dreams. Life is truly a blessing and a short journey. I have always maintained and feel passionately that our mental positive mind set is 80% of any battle or obstacle won. Cancer has not been easy, it has been life changing and in many regards it actually has enhanced both mine and my families lives. I never regret decisions, and I celebrate failure as its chalked up to not only a learning experience, but something I will not repeat again. I struggle with life's unforeseen events and its circumstances as we all do, however I do not ever let it define me, or take away my happiness. You must fall to get back up and heal to become stronger. Blessing surround us everyday, and I chose to be thankful for all of mine. It is as simple as I'm healthy and so are my children and family.



God is spectacular everyday

My thoughts and prayers are always with those fighting the battle and all less fortunate