The "Mommy side" of me struggles but knows this achievement of being cancer free and a survivor is the greatest gift I will ever give my children and family!

Between all the doctor appointments, labs, ultra sounds and interviewing reconstructive surgeons it is not difficult for things to intertwine together and get muddled. Throw in my five children, four car pools, football five days a week, my oldest job schedule and all in between. I am very good at my job as president of my family, my organization alone is impeccable. Not only am I blessed, I love what I do. When I walked away from nursing to be at home it was the best thing I have ever done in life.
Now that I am living with my "new normal" even tho it will not last forever I find myself really struggling on the medical side of this journey currently.
The reconstruction side of it as I said some decisions are easy and others are very taxing. I am very excited to have my last AC chemo ( the harder drug combo) this Friday 9/5 as I feel is a rite of passage as I have earned, learned and fought to get rid of my tumor in that first chapter of becoming cancer free.
I can see vaguely the light shining as I enter what I'm told are "far less taxing drugs" administered weekly to end chemo in December.


The specialist have yet to all agree and concur as we have really received different opinions and options headed into the next phase the surgery that it can become confusing and difficult as the decisions I make can have a lifetime result or effects that can quickly leave me with little choices.
I will continue to ask questions, read and work through all opinions taking a little from each physician until I arrive at the correct decisions for me.
Its a blessing as I was able to connect and see Gods will clearly in my guidance to my surgeon and oncologist. I do however know and trust I will be led to the well lit path and the correct choices again as I need to not let the confusion and difference of opinion sway me and misguide me.
I have very important choices that ultimately can and will effect my life as I know God will provide and answer our prayers as he has always done.

The struggles currently are from my "mommy side". I know the current  reality as my children need me healthy and to stay on coarse with chemo to end this current phase of treatment. My drive to be disease free at surgery and complete radiation so I walk away a survivor and not look back is the biggest and greatest achievement I will ever do for myself and family!
The difficult part is missing some of my children's achievements this year. My 1st grader has been working on a writing assignment and will read it Thursday. Rob and I think outside the box and he will go record it for me so we can watch it at dinner as a family so Mom gets to see it.
I go to a few football practices and sit on a blanket in the shade away from everyone.
Some of the holidays will be difficult as the preschool Thanksgiving party Daddy too will attend.

When on chemo and a weekly schedule its so important to stay well as my WBC counts go from low to normal often. Even if they are on a normal count day if I get sick a low grade fever 100.4 it can be life threatening on chemo and certainly alter my treatment coarse so I take great precautions. No church as I will send Rob to take them to Sunday school and I pray at home. No elementary schools, preschools, crowds of people or children.
We do have five kids and must have some normalcy as neighborhood kids do come play at my home they just wash their hands. I cant live in a bubble I just cant take unnecessary ricks either.

I look forward to chemo graduation early December and my immune system being intact and celebrating the close of that chapter.
I know next school year as Addy enters kindergarten, Max and I can go have lunch with his big sisters and watch football games from the bleachers. I will really cherish all achievements and personal goals all my children make as I see clearly the gift of life.

My support system is so truly great the blessing is simply humbling.My husband reschedules meetings to attend his children s milestones because their Mom is unable. When I need rest he shuts the door and steps into "big shoes" as five kids are really a two parent job, but God has strengthen him as his ability to sustain a demanding career and take on a second job (mine) is a blessing in itself.
Our 15 year old whom steps up to the plate and helps with his siblings and 11 year old also and is not opposed to changing a diaper.
My parents and siblings, brother in law who work effortlessly to organized a Harley bike run in Florida in October to help with my surgeons portion and radiation bills we will need to prepay thousands. They to in spite of their children, careers, and busy lives spend countless hours to help us.
My caregiver who is God sent and amazing with my 20 month old and children and the car pools as I'm at the doctors or chemo chair.

All the support for meals people drop off and support from friends and neighbors. Woman who offer tips, advice and support who too live with or have survived cancer.
I feel like it really does take a village and due to all levels of great support my recovery is a very efficient machine in all faucets.

I feel Gods grace as well as all my love and support and am so grateful. I pray for the less fortunate and try to lend my support in ways I'm able so they too can heal and recover as I am.

I have an ultrasound Wednesday as I am excited. The first one was used for my diagnosis 7 weeks ago (feels like a life time) and showed that UGLY tumor on the right side of my breast and under arm lymph node.
They are now GONE so I will see normal breast tissue as I have earned it and cant wait to see it!
I will update Wednesday after my ultrasound.
Please know my eye has never left the prize as I will finish this fight and am already victorious  in many ways.

Prayers needed

Please pray My last AC chemo treatment will have mild side effects, my new treatment as well and that I'm not allergic to the new drugs.

Please pray I'm able to make the correct decisions with my upcoming surgery

God Bless and know I pray for all of you

I hope you grab many silver linings and blessings as I do, life is an amazing gift


www.gofundme.com/I-will-beat-cancer

It is not the need to restore my faith as it is in place as much as I need to stand back, reflect and pray

As I'm feeling more challenged than often, I take a step back and reflect as life has many lessons for me to learn from, and know God is lighting my path way.

It is difficult to have many specialty physicians whom are all different and differ in opinions~ It becomes confusing as for me I'm the girl who wants it achieved yesterday and off my plate. I do well being armed with factual knowledge and arriving at a decision , so I can acclimate and achieve that goal. As of lately I am experiencing the "data, facts, opinions,has been  studied  and not studied faze in my next step of my mastectomy and reconstruction process.
It is difficult for me personality to have very different opinions any where from A-Z even from the top reconstruction surgeons. My oncologist and mastectomy surgeons have long been decided as God led me to them and my progress is great and my prognosis and life long outcome even greater as God has been clear to Rob and I as to that healing path of this journey.

As for the next step after chemotherapy is a very different and individual decision for any woman with breast cancer. For me personality I made the decision almost immediately that I wanted reconstruction for many personal reasons however, as easy as that decision came it is not so easy to choose from the many choices that are entailed. Some options must be done at the time of the mastectomy if like me you will receive radiation. Chemo has no lasting effects as you do heal and recover. Radiation is very important as it kills any microscopic cells unseen and helps ensure a full life of being cancer free for me. It does however come with a life time of some effects that last forever and can not be undone such as your chest muscle is frozen and will not move any longer. I did choose to have an implant put in however is a long process as a muscle spacer must be put in place at the time of my mastectomy behind my muscle before radiation and gradually  stretched. I will then under go radiation depending on my pathology report at the time of surgery I will know how many weeks will be involved. I will then wear the spacer approximately six months before they are removed and exchanged for a permanent implant.
This process is wear many doctors differ and studies conflict or lack answers. I know what outcome I am seeking just not the coarse or fine tuning of the pathway I will arrive. I meet with a reconstruction surgeon in a few weeks to seek more answers as its a "hurry up and wait" process.

I finish my old chemo regime on 9-5 as the small cracks are showing and the drugs are cumulative and can take their toll. I continue to only have small side effects that I heal quickly from.

I'm excited to begin my new chemo drugs as I'm told are lesser and lesser side effects also so I can close out the chemo process of this journey and beat cancer I never look back!
My new drug taxol can have an allergic reaction so please pray I am not allergic to it and tolerate it well.

I will pray as I do daily and know God is continuing to guide me to make the correct decisions for myself and family and is shining brightly so my path remains well lit!

I will not falter, crumble not even sway as I'm so blessed with more than ample strength and endurance to finish this marathon and be cancer free for my life time!

I not only have pure trust and faith in God I'm blessed with my amazing allies and support  in my husband, children, parents, siblings ,family,friends, neighbors and other cancer warriors I will never be defeated!

Pray for your inner strength and turn it all over to God because when you do it all becomes so very simple!

God Bless and please keep praying for me and my family as it is working and God is listening!

God Bless

Many decisions made and only a few remain~ My clear plan is coming together under Gods plan and blessings!

II I was 

I was able to sit down with a genetics doctor Friday who explained to us that my lack of  BRACA 1&2 as we know means I have no gene mutation and unable to pass it to my children, (Thanks be to God). It further more enable me to keep my ovaries and tubes at surgery. 
 I was last told to not be tested for the new PALB2 gene discovered in breast cancer as I do not need to be tested.

I sat with my oncologist and had many questions answered and given new options as well. 
I was told I'm a candidate for a lumpectomy in my right breast only and could leave the left and a large portion on my right. Here are the negatives associated with that. It leaves me with an 30% chance of breast cancer recurring. I would also have to endure many mammograms and surgical biopsies well as the fear of looking over my shoulder and waiting on test results.

With a double mastectomy, I have a less than 7% of my current cancer returning in the first 3 years than much lower and cured at 5 years. I will never need a biopsies nor mammogram or to live in fear and worry. 
Over my life time (living to 90) I have a life time 1.3 % divided by all those years of ever getting another or different cancer! So that's a blessing with triple negative!
It is a easy no brainier" for Rob and I, as we are admitted on having a double mastectomy in December or January. I have over a 65% chance of being cancer free at the time of surgery! I feel God is helping me achieve that goal!
I have the top three "dream team" of an oncologist, surgeon, and reconstructive physicians

 as my doctor yesterday concurred and asked me how did you manage to find us all? I said God lead me to you! He agrees and said God gave him his ability to help others.
My 3rd chemo treatment yesterday was a little more difficult as I was in bed at 7 feeling a tad yucky but slept well and as I prayed about it I feel  back to normal today! 
I only have 1 more treatment on my current drugs as they are the most difficult. 
I have an ultrasound on 9-19 and get to see what we can no longer feel as it will be normal tissue! 
Cant wait. Then I start my new drugs that day so my side effects should be even lesser as I will continue to sail through. 

I'm told the double mastectomy in December I will then have spacers placed and gradually filled the they stay in place approximately 6 months until they are exchange for an implant. I will meet with my plastic- reconstructive  surgeon on  Monday to get a clearer picture and make some decisions as to the path I will take. I am not sure I  want skin graphs nor tissue taken from my body to reconstruct with my own fat, so the implant may be my coarse. How ever a skin sparing mastectomy it   It involves removing the nipple and surrounding areola, and then removing the cancerous breast tissue through the opening. The surgeon leaves most of the breast skin, creating a natural skin envelope that is immediately filled with the patient’s own tissue from another area of the body. The transferred tissue is used to rebuild the shape of your breast, leaving a reconstructed breast that will have the same look and texture as your natural breast. The overall advantage of the skin sparing mastectomy is that it improves the cosmetic outcome and gives the best option for reconstruction.

We will be informed and armed with knowledge and will make that decision as we have time to ponder over it.

Rob and I also made a decision to not have a repeat pet scan in December as my Doctor told us it has no barring on my treatment and all answers will be given through my pathology report and the time of my surgery. I will follow surgery with radiation to ensure we get any microscopic  cells unseen. 

I've said this is a marathon however we have been blessed with may questions answered, doors opened and new found friends, blessings that lead us on the correct path to my full recovery! 

( The photo of my children was taken by T&T Photography and for cancer patients its FREE OF CHARGE!) Tonya the owner is a survivor and an amazing photographer that is paying it forward and helping others! She is also open to the general public! her email is 
http://www.tandtphotographync.com/


God bless 

Please keep up the prayers! They are working!

www.gofundme.com/I-will-beat-cancer

As always if you can help with my mountain of medical bills or precipitations my medical account link is above

Some questions are meant to be answered and some God has the answers as I trust in him~

Modern 21st century medicine is not an exact science. Do not get me wrong I appreciate the era I live in and the access to knowledge, physicians, and modern medicine. It does vary however and ultimately my husband and I are able to study the facts and make decisions as well to assist in my recovery. Just a year ago in trails was carboplatin discovered to improve TNBC (triple negative breast cancer) percentages at the time of surgery to be cancer and margin free. The goal at my mastectomy time is to take as few lymph nodes as possible so my chances for lymphedema are much lower. Lymphedema can occur anytime after surgery (years later) and is incurable, it causes swelling in the arm tissue but they do have treatments. The fewer lymph nodes  they remove is the goal.
My entire TNBC journey is a road full of stepping stones and stairs to gradually climb, as it is a marathon the I must pace myself and will inevitability win.
It is a gradual discovery of answers, knowledge, achievement of milestones, miracles, blessings every step I make along the way.

I thought that originality I had a tumor around 3.7 cm and one lymph node under my arm at biopsy time, then the pet scan showed three hot spots (very small) around my upper ribs (in my breast tissue) . I thought the hots spots where cancer. I am told by an oncologist they very well may not be. They are very difficult to biopsy and not really relative only for staging.  My stage lllc or if the hot spots did not show and where never part of my staging I would still receive the same treatment so for me its interesting but not relative. The only way to know for sure is to have a repeat pet scan in December. If the hot spots show then we know they where never cancer, and if they are gone then we know they where. The pet scan is the one that requires radio active dye and I can not be around children for 24 hours. I do not want to put that in my body again to answer a question that is not important nor does it  pertain to my recovery. I will receive another ultra sound soon to get a look as I'm excited to not see the tumor I originally saw, and to physically see what we no longer feel and to see  normal looking breast from my excellent chemo response.
I have responded so well to chemo after my second treatment the doctor can no longer feel my tumor nor lymph node. Thanks be to God! and GOOD RIDDANCE!

I am told my current chemo drugs are the most difficult to endure and with my good tolerance, lack of nausea  fatigue, and many other side effects this is par for my coarse. As my new chemo drugs in September that are administered weekly as far better tolerated so I will continue to sail through. Gods blessing, and his giving me strength and endurance to sustain normality and ability to be a mother and win my marathon.

As we receive answers to questions there is more to discover as it is a gradual process. We meet with my doctor on Friday and then with a plastic surgeon (reconstruction specialty surgeon) on Monday.
That will enable Rob and I to then sit down and make some decisions next week as to the path to sustain and God is leading us down toward my full recovery.
There are unknowns by us (God knows) that will not be answered until January (surgery time). Once my surgeon and pathologist during my mastectomy test my original under arm lymph node and we see how few need to be removed then we see a radiologist to determine how many weeks of radiation I'm given.
Once radiation is complete at some point I will then have an additional surgery to have my spacer removed, implant put in, a nipple made from my skin, and then tattooed for color. A mastectomy removes all breast tissue and nipples to ultimately achieve a life time result of  being cancer free and no recurrence. Spacers are placed behind the muscle as you have no breast to hold an implant in place. Spacers are gradually filled with saline over a period of time to stretch the muscle and make room for the implant.
I'm told the end result looks beautiful and natural. The key is to choose the best oncologist, surgeon, and reconstructive surgeon and radiologist team you can. I am very blessed in my  "dream team" God has lead me to.

I have minor hiccups as my WBC (white blood cell count was a bit low yesterday) so I was given an additional neupogen shot and it will bring my WBC count up  as it works quickly so I can have my chemo treatment Friday.
The key is after chemo to take your anti nausea medicine, rest at night, if you get that "metal tastes in your mouth" get mints or tic tac's and they are very helpful. If you get mouth sores ask your doctor for a prescription of "magic mouth rinse" it works.  Be proactive and stay on top of your side effects. Be positive, your mental attitude will take you far and really helps in your recovery .Do NOT believe what you read on the internet. Pray and trust in God as he is carrying you too. Know cancer is NOT a death sentence by any means and your prognosis is good and it is treatable and curable. I'm sailing through this journey and "ROCK IN" chemo with 5 kids and you can too!


I continue to be optimist and excited about my future and life and have no fear as I'm so blessed every step of the way. God is great and so are all you angels in my life and I have met and continue to meet on my journey.
Life is full of great blessings every single day. I will attend at my children s graduations, football games, dance recitals, weddings, and hold their hands, guide them through all the milestones and celebrations in life. I will make a full recovery and take the knowledge and strength from this journey to help others. My life is a gift and a blessing I will enjoy everyday.
I will update over the weekend as I'm awaiting my doctors appointment of Friday and my chemo treatment #3 of 4 on my current drugs them 9-18 new drugs. Excited to be almost done on my first regimen.


God Bless

www.gofundme.com/I-will -beat-cancer

Gods Will and his path he intends for me, I have complete faith in him~

When I received my initial diagnosis of triple negative stage lll breast cancer I was told there was  no time to spare and make haste to my oncologist office, that I must start chemo as I have a very aggressive breast cancer.
I have undergone pet scans, MRI's, mugga scans, lab work, biopsies, pathology, DNA testing, and complete medical clearance just to be able to begin chemo treatments.
I have only met my oncologist once when he gave me my treatment plan and a substantial 16 chemo treatments.
At that time not only did Rob or I have a clear vision of "Gods Will" and his plan for me nor did my oncologist.
After only two chemo treatments I can no longer find or feel my tumor at all! (Gods miracle given to me!)

Now that I have responded so well to treatment and no significant side effects to speak of my journey on my road to recovery is very promising!

I am currently experiencing my week off from chemo and by God speaking to me have decide to utilize my time wisely and go see an additional oncologist Monday. We feel it will be an additional blessing to have another oncologist review all my tests, my ability to respond so well to chemo, my treatment regimen and plan.

I will then sit down with my oncologist later this month and have him review and compare notes if you will so Rob and I can continue to make the decisions God is leading us towards and my full recovery. My goal is to finish my chemo regimen in November so I can heal and enjoy the holidays with my children and be completely healthy during my mastectomy in January.
If we decided to not stray from my current treatment plan I remain stead fast in my faith in God that he is giving my doctors knowledge and guidance along with Rob and I to make the correct choices and remain on the current path to recovery.


I had a lady say to me your mastectomy will be the greatest pain you will even endure, and another woman say you will not be able to hold or hug your children.
My response was God has given me the ability and strength to endure all! God has mercury and strengthens me and I will not live in fear. My children will too continue to feel love if I cant hold them its only for  a short while. My children know God will be holding them as he always has!

Once I make a full recovery I plan on starting a cancer support group for all survivors, current patients and family members. I plan on sitting down with my pastor and assisting in helping others as God would have me do. I will also be donating my DNA to research as I want to help others in the fight  to win against cancer!

I have the privilege to of met and continue to meet such amazing people on my journey I feel so blessed.


Please take note of my raffle to assist in my medical payments and prescriptions~ Info below

God Bless

Lots of gift cards and prizes!

 The proceeds will go to a Medical Fund to help pay for treatment.

Date: August 16th
Time: 2 pm
Location: Royal Berry cul-de-sac (in front of my house)

Pizza party is free.
Raffle tickets are $10 per ticket.
You can buy a raffle ticket anytime during or before the party.
You do not have to be present to win.
Please RSVP if you plan to attend the free pizza party!!!
Melissa Faulkner at faulknerml@att.net or 612-4719.

I see clearly my problems are lesser than so many others whom my prayers reach out to the less fortunate

I have always said money can easily come and go in life but If you and your family are healthy you do not have any problems!

My hair is falling out by the handfuls, so I shaved it! (wigs, ball caps)

I'm not sleeping well from medications some nights, so I get up and get things accomplished

My taste buds and smell are almost non existent due to chemo, so I eat anyways

We do not have the money for medical bills and large prepayments required, so we are still able to feed our kids

Everyday I wake up I enjoy smelling the fresh air, and hearing my children laugh. The way they feel when I  hold them. I enjoy watching them change and grow and to know I'm blessed with a great prognosis to beat cancer and win my life back. I'm blessed with the privilege of being a mother and do not feel as I'm looking at mortality, I do have the blessing of a second chance at life and all the wonderful prospects entailed!

I find myself having no complaints as all are so minor in the scheme of it all, as hair, breasts, money and fiancees are not relative! God will provided and I am grateful of his will and blessings bestowed on myself and family.

There are so many people with struggles far greater than I that I feel they are my inspiration as God does not give you anything that you do not have the strength to endure!
My heart and prayers go out to all the less fortunate people as they too have God carry them through their struggles.

Everyday I wake up I choose to be grateful and happy! I choose to see all the rainbows and silver linings no matter how big or small!
I choose to be the best mother, wife,daughter,sister,niece,aunt,friend and neighbor I know how to be. I choose to give everyday my all and best and to not let any of the "little things" weigh me down or get in my way!

My hopes are together in prayer we will lift the unfortunate people,

God Bless

www.gofundme.com/I-will-beat-cancer

For me it's all about being grateful and positive as it breeds positive results! I feel so blessed!

My second chemo was far better than my 1st! For me its about "fine tuning" my medications and that was the key to sailing through my chemo treatment! Prayers have been contentiously answered and my ability to be a mother, my children not be frighten, and my younger ones have that have pure faith Mommy will beat cancer and make a full recovery is a blessing.

My 1st chemo I had a few hiccups as not taking my anti nausea meds soon enough and taking too many neupogen (white blood cell enhancer shots to help your immune system). Normal WBC is approximately (10-4) as my WBC shot up to 30 and caused bone aches and a migraine. The side effects soon passed and I was able to feel much better quickly.

My 2nd chemo treatment I was able to take my anti nausea meds at home quickly and with Gods grace it worked! I feel very good and was able to keep up with my kids. I will also back off two neupogen shots when they start tomorrow and am confident God will answer my prayer so it will be the correct amount to keep my WBC up with out any side effects!

Chemo through December than a double mastectomy and five week radiation regimen is not a easy nor a  short path for anyone however God is carrying myself and family and is giving us the strength and perseverance to sail through it and become cancer free!


From the beginning of this journey it has been such an enlightening experience. From having such amazing people in my and my families lives to having the privilege of meeting even more special people we now call friends.
Being blessed with so many blessings and miracles and insight to make the correct decisions and walking on the path I'm meant too.

Having the strength and ability to concur chemo and sustain energy is wonderful as I continue to help others on my journey to recovery and remain on my "new normal" regimented but still have the stamina to help my family!

This journey not only has enabled me to pay it forward and help others it has also opened up my entire perspective on my life and Gods will to direct and keep me on his path!

God has given me more patience's with my children, and more quality time with them. God has enabled  my family to strengthen an already strong bond to now create a steal bond. My marriage has always been a gift as I'm blessed to not only call Rob my best friend but to know he's my soul mate. My children are taking all positives and becoming pro active and remain strong. Our oldest child said "Anytime our family has been under any restraint in life we fuse together concur it and become an even stronger unit"!
My bond with my parents, sister, brother, niece,aunts, and immediate family  has always been strong, and now it too has turned to steel!

I feel so blessed today and every day and hope you too take all positives and blessings on your journeys!
I remain strong, positive, and stead fast in faith.

I am well on my way to beating caner and making a full recovery!

Please continue to keep myself and family on your prayer lists and uplifted in your prayers as they are working!

God Bless