Answers are on the horizon as I'm headed to the best in the country~

After eight weeks I finally received an appointment at Duke as many consider them the best in the country and leaders in Cancer research and treatments!

I now am fully aware of how unique and a complete miracle that my tumor and lymph node, cancer was completely gone after two chemo treatments. I endured two additional treatments to kill any microscopic cells we may not see and completed all four treatments.

The next chapter of 12 weekly treatments are on my horizon and where assigned  to me in the beginning , before chemo began, and  before the oncologist could for see Gods mercy and healing any my becoming cancer free so early on in treatment.

I am very blessed to be given an opportunity to sit down with the oncologists at Duke and hear first hand their experiences with women like myself and if 12 more weeks is an over kill or the regimen I must continue to endure. I feel God has healed me and placed me on this path so I pray Duke has some answers to the important questions I seek and undoubtedly can potentially be a "game changer".

I find myself anxious but relived to finally have some answers from the pioneers in breast cancer as their access to data, trials, and percentages from all over the country can and will assist me so I can make the correct decisions and close this chapter as I head into surgery and start the beginning to the end of this breast cancer life altering journey.
I feel extraordinarily blessed to say my cancers gone and I'm ready to take all steps to ensure it never returns. My double mastectomy will take place in December as its surreal almost to consider losing both breast and enduring a major surgery. However my sister said it best " I'm not partial to any body part that I can live without, that is trying to kill me". I am human and a woman as it was a difficult decision to have both breasts removed. The reconstructive process takes a full year than an additional year to really know and see how minimal any scars will or will not be.

At this point of my journey I find that simply being rid of my cancer and the prognoses of having a great chance of a full life and no recurrence is incentive and enough and a blessing that all else is simply a means to an end.

I am ready to end chemo treatments and have my immune system fully in tact so I can resume normal activities and participate in my children's lives, attend school functions and return to church. Be able to celebrate the joy of life full speed ahead.

I'm am told by many survivors that once I close this chapter and walk away with my life that I will make life alternating changes and become a bit different.
As I laid in my bed last night watching TV with my 6, 4, and 20 month old holding them I thought I would not want to be anywhere else doing anything else.

I love my life, my children, my husband, my marriage, my family and my friends. I do find myself strengthen, and resolve to help others and take all great things from this journey and place them forward. I am humbled and grateful of my many blessings. I'm sadden by others in their battles that are struggling but inspired they are still fighting.
I have never asked or thought why me, as I would change nothing and have faith and entrust God has always held me.

My life as all life is a precious gift meant to live fully, happily, faithfully, as  christian's , helpfully, kindly and lovingly~

I will continue to pray for all the less fortunate people and for great outcomes~


www.gofundme.com/I-will-beat-cancer

Life is not always easy nor is it guaranteed ~ The value of the lessons learned make us stronger and wiser~

Life is not always easy nor is it guaranteed. We are not entitled to anything, as I teach my children hard work leads to self worth and a great appreciation of what you have earned. I am an open book in personality with a great work ethic as I'm open with my children and teach them to trust in the Lord, be honest and kind to others, stand up for your self if need be, work hard, play hard and the sky is the limit as you can achieve any dream and goal in life. Life is a gift and obstacles can and will be placed in our path. Its how we react and diminish those obstacles that make the value of the lessons learned important.

We have had many obstacles some extraordinarily difficult in life that at the time seemed unbearable but as life altering as they where, God was helping place us on the path of a healthy far greater life than previous and removing all the toxic. We crawled and even  clawed at a few low points towards the light and strength of God and I assure you when we arrived at the end of the obstacle it was all well worth it. The lessons have strengthen my marriage and made us steel, enabled us to raise our children in Gods name and to grow into fine adults, contribute to society, help others, and stand tall.


When I received my first diagnosis of breast cancer I went into fight mode and immediately went into mind over matter, and pulled from all my inner strength, determination, pure resolve to come out swinging and not let up until all the cancer was and is completely eliminated and out of my body. The thought has never crossed my mind that even with stage lll I would lose my life or the battle ever! I know deep in my sole that I have much work to do here and babies to raise to pay it forward .
I hear medical workers and physicians say your mental and attitude have much to do with your healing and out come. My oncologist   said to me without chemo, surgery and radiation I had a 90% chance of death. He proceeded to tell me that God gave him the knowledge and ability to treat and heal me as I whole heartily agree! I realize how blessed and what a pure miracle I an given to not only sail through chemo but to have all my cancer, tumor and lymph nodes completely gone this early in chemo. I assure this is a blessing and I plan on not disappointing God, and moving forward after my recovery and helping others as I've said before.

I still have new journeys, treatments and obstacles on my road to a full recovery, but remain steadfast knowing and believing it will continue to be mild and par for the coarse as it has been.
All things are possible through Christ who strengthens me.

I realize we all have our battles and obstacles in our lives and on our personal journeys and I say to you have faith, believe, pull your inner strength, and you too will prevail. Not only will you come through stronger the lessons learned will make you wiser.

God Bless know I'm praying for you all and appreciate your prayers~

Prayers clearly work and God is truly great!

www.gofundme/I-will-beat-cancer

Everyday is a gift however yesterday was special for me~

Everyday is a gift however yesterday was a very special day. I had the privilege to return to the radiology and breast imaging facility where my journey began. Eight short weeks ago I had several mammograms, a biopsy, and ribbons placed for the surgeon. I had no knowledge of my triple negative breast cancer stage lll status or my road ahead, I just knew it was not good as the ribbons where placed in my breast. I was scared and all alone as my husband was home with the kids because we where told by a GYN doctor the day before that my tumor was a cyst and she felt it was benign and was not cancer. I walked in to have a mammogram with a very false sense of security. The angles that God has placed at this imaging center are truly amazing, as they inspire me. Not only did they realize I had breast cancer they had to inform me of it. The health care workers stayed late on a Friday in spite of there own families to get my biopsy done and sent to pathology ASAP. They are the most caring and compassionate women I am blessed to of met. They are so positive and enabled me to have hope, faith and strength to begin my journey in what feels like years ago.
I cant imagine walking in there shoes as they see woman daily sadly as cancer shows and they give strength and  hope to others like me.

I was able to have a repeat ultrasound and share in my incredible news (nothing short of a miracle) yesterday with these amazing ladies as it showed NO CANCER in my breast or lymph nodes anywhere after only three chemo treatments! I was elated and so glad to of shared the wonderful news with these special ladies as they make such a difference in not only my life but so many others.

My cancer is gone as I am victorious early in my battle. My pure inner strength, resolve, determination, God's strength, all the prayers and angels behind me helping me come out swinging has paid off. I now must finish this battle and sustain my endurance and health as I still have a recovery road ahead.
I must continue  chemo therapy as 21st century medicine is not full proof and we have no data or percentage rates "If I stopped chemo now and headed for surgery". Any microscopic cancer cells that may be in my blood or body must be killed by chemo. I will finish my last "difficult drug regime" tomorrow and start my less difficult regimen for 12 straight weeks. I have come so far I will not risk a recurrence due to a unseen cancer cells because I ended chemo to early. I will finish this phase of my recovery and seal my cancers fate.
I am stead fast in my decision to have a double mastectomy even tho I'm now a candidate for a lesser surgery (a lumpectomy). My chances of any recurrence are 30% if I chose a lumpectomy. My percentages of any cancer recurrence after my double mastectomy is less than 1& 1/2 % over my lifetime so was a very easy decision for myself and family. I'm not partial to anything on my body I can live without that could potentially kill me.

I'm only faced challenges I will continue to concur as I know the blessings are and will continue to carry me through. I will be given benadryl with my new chemo meds as it makes me very sleepy. The silver lining is the meds are easier to endure and some women even report their hair growing  back as they are on the weekly regime. The next 12 weeks will assist in my recovery to combat any microscopic cells. The mastectomy alleviates the recurrence with radiation. The reconstruction side of it begins at mastectomy however does require additional surgery and will be completed within 9-12 months, as it requires some time to complete.

I am ready to sustain, endure and finish what cancer started as I'm renewed and up for the remainder of this chapter and journey in my life. For me personality cancer has made me stronger not only in spirit, emotionally and in my faith I see very clearly what I had not before.
I continue to "hold my own" with my blood counts and my overall  health on chemo drugs.
Please continue to pray my organs, and blood counts remain good and over all health on chemo so I can enter surgery (end of December) healthy and finish chemo.

I was able to attend www.1in9.com  breast cancer charity last night and meet the remarkable founder Stephanie who herself and team do Gods work and help so many with breast cancer! What a inspiration and blessing to see the gifts and talents and extraordinary ability to help so many in need!
We had an old friend whom its been far to long (five years) since we have seen her come out and share laughs with us, I enjoyed catching up with last night as well.


We all know how pray works, so please continue as I'm a reminded of Gods will and grace everyday!


www.gofundme.com/I-will-beat-cancer

The "Mommy side" of me struggles but knows this achievement of being cancer free and a survivor is the greatest gift I will ever give my children and family!

Between all the doctor appointments, labs, ultra sounds and interviewing reconstructive surgeons it is not difficult for things to intertwine together and get muddled. Throw in my five children, four car pools, football five days a week, my oldest job schedule and all in between. I am very good at my job as president of my family, my organization alone is impeccable. Not only am I blessed, I love what I do. When I walked away from nursing to be at home it was the best thing I have ever done in life.
Now that I am living with my "new normal" even tho it will not last forever I find myself really struggling on the medical side of this journey currently.
The reconstruction side of it as I said some decisions are easy and others are very taxing. I am very excited to have my last AC chemo ( the harder drug combo) this Friday 9/5 as I feel is a rite of passage as I have earned, learned and fought to get rid of my tumor in that first chapter of becoming cancer free.
I can see vaguely the light shining as I enter what I'm told are "far less taxing drugs" administered weekly to end chemo in December.


The specialist have yet to all agree and concur as we have really received different opinions and options headed into the next phase the surgery that it can become confusing and difficult as the decisions I make can have a lifetime result or effects that can quickly leave me with little choices.
I will continue to ask questions, read and work through all opinions taking a little from each physician until I arrive at the correct decisions for me.
Its a blessing as I was able to connect and see Gods will clearly in my guidance to my surgeon and oncologist. I do however know and trust I will be led to the well lit path and the correct choices again as I need to not let the confusion and difference of opinion sway me and misguide me.
I have very important choices that ultimately can and will effect my life as I know God will provide and answer our prayers as he has always done.

The struggles currently are from my "mommy side". I know the current  reality as my children need me healthy and to stay on coarse with chemo to end this current phase of treatment. My drive to be disease free at surgery and complete radiation so I walk away a survivor and not look back is the biggest and greatest achievement I will ever do for myself and family!
The difficult part is missing some of my children's achievements this year. My 1st grader has been working on a writing assignment and will read it Thursday. Rob and I think outside the box and he will go record it for me so we can watch it at dinner as a family so Mom gets to see it.
I go to a few football practices and sit on a blanket in the shade away from everyone.
Some of the holidays will be difficult as the preschool Thanksgiving party Daddy too will attend.

When on chemo and a weekly schedule its so important to stay well as my WBC counts go from low to normal often. Even if they are on a normal count day if I get sick a low grade fever 100.4 it can be life threatening on chemo and certainly alter my treatment coarse so I take great precautions. No church as I will send Rob to take them to Sunday school and I pray at home. No elementary schools, preschools, crowds of people or children.
We do have five kids and must have some normalcy as neighborhood kids do come play at my home they just wash their hands. I cant live in a bubble I just cant take unnecessary ricks either.

I look forward to chemo graduation early December and my immune system being intact and celebrating the close of that chapter.
I know next school year as Addy enters kindergarten, Max and I can go have lunch with his big sisters and watch football games from the bleachers. I will really cherish all achievements and personal goals all my children make as I see clearly the gift of life.

My support system is so truly great the blessing is simply humbling.My husband reschedules meetings to attend his children s milestones because their Mom is unable. When I need rest he shuts the door and steps into "big shoes" as five kids are really a two parent job, but God has strengthen him as his ability to sustain a demanding career and take on a second job (mine) is a blessing in itself.
Our 15 year old whom steps up to the plate and helps with his siblings and 11 year old also and is not opposed to changing a diaper.
My parents and siblings, brother in law who work effortlessly to organized a Harley bike run in Florida in October to help with my surgeons portion and radiation bills we will need to prepay thousands. They to in spite of their children, careers, and busy lives spend countless hours to help us.
My caregiver who is God sent and amazing with my 20 month old and children and the car pools as I'm at the doctors or chemo chair.

All the support for meals people drop off and support from friends and neighbors. Woman who offer tips, advice and support who too live with or have survived cancer.
I feel like it really does take a village and due to all levels of great support my recovery is a very efficient machine in all faucets.

I feel Gods grace as well as all my love and support and am so grateful. I pray for the less fortunate and try to lend my support in ways I'm able so they too can heal and recover as I am.

I have an ultrasound Wednesday as I am excited. The first one was used for my diagnosis 7 weeks ago (feels like a life time) and showed that UGLY tumor on the right side of my breast and under arm lymph node.
They are now GONE so I will see normal breast tissue as I have earned it and cant wait to see it!
I will update Wednesday after my ultrasound.
Please know my eye has never left the prize as I will finish this fight and am already victorious  in many ways.

Prayers needed

Please pray My last AC chemo treatment will have mild side effects, my new treatment as well and that I'm not allergic to the new drugs.

Please pray I'm able to make the correct decisions with my upcoming surgery

God Bless and know I pray for all of you

I hope you grab many silver linings and blessings as I do, life is an amazing gift


www.gofundme.com/I-will-beat-cancer

It is not the need to restore my faith as it is in place as much as I need to stand back, reflect and pray

As I'm feeling more challenged than often, I take a step back and reflect as life has many lessons for me to learn from, and know God is lighting my path way.

It is difficult to have many specialty physicians whom are all different and differ in opinions~ It becomes confusing as for me I'm the girl who wants it achieved yesterday and off my plate. I do well being armed with factual knowledge and arriving at a decision , so I can acclimate and achieve that goal. As of lately I am experiencing the "data, facts, opinions,has been  studied  and not studied faze in my next step of my mastectomy and reconstruction process.
It is difficult for me personality to have very different opinions any where from A-Z even from the top reconstruction surgeons. My oncologist and mastectomy surgeons have long been decided as God led me to them and my progress is great and my prognosis and life long outcome even greater as God has been clear to Rob and I as to that healing path of this journey.

As for the next step after chemotherapy is a very different and individual decision for any woman with breast cancer. For me personality I made the decision almost immediately that I wanted reconstruction for many personal reasons however, as easy as that decision came it is not so easy to choose from the many choices that are entailed. Some options must be done at the time of the mastectomy if like me you will receive radiation. Chemo has no lasting effects as you do heal and recover. Radiation is very important as it kills any microscopic cells unseen and helps ensure a full life of being cancer free for me. It does however come with a life time of some effects that last forever and can not be undone such as your chest muscle is frozen and will not move any longer. I did choose to have an implant put in however is a long process as a muscle spacer must be put in place at the time of my mastectomy behind my muscle before radiation and gradually  stretched. I will then under go radiation depending on my pathology report at the time of surgery I will know how many weeks will be involved. I will then wear the spacer approximately six months before they are removed and exchanged for a permanent implant.
This process is wear many doctors differ and studies conflict or lack answers. I know what outcome I am seeking just not the coarse or fine tuning of the pathway I will arrive. I meet with a reconstruction surgeon in a few weeks to seek more answers as its a "hurry up and wait" process.

I finish my old chemo regime on 9-5 as the small cracks are showing and the drugs are cumulative and can take their toll. I continue to only have small side effects that I heal quickly from.

I'm excited to begin my new chemo drugs as I'm told are lesser and lesser side effects also so I can close out the chemo process of this journey and beat cancer I never look back!
My new drug taxol can have an allergic reaction so please pray I am not allergic to it and tolerate it well.

I will pray as I do daily and know God is continuing to guide me to make the correct decisions for myself and family and is shining brightly so my path remains well lit!

I will not falter, crumble not even sway as I'm so blessed with more than ample strength and endurance to finish this marathon and be cancer free for my life time!

I not only have pure trust and faith in God I'm blessed with my amazing allies and support  in my husband, children, parents, siblings ,family,friends, neighbors and other cancer warriors I will never be defeated!

Pray for your inner strength and turn it all over to God because when you do it all becomes so very simple!

God Bless and please keep praying for me and my family as it is working and God is listening!

God Bless

Many decisions made and only a few remain~ My clear plan is coming together under Gods plan and blessings!

II I was 

I was able to sit down with a genetics doctor Friday who explained to us that my lack of  BRACA 1&2 as we know means I have no gene mutation and unable to pass it to my children, (Thanks be to God). It further more enable me to keep my ovaries and tubes at surgery. 
 I was last told to not be tested for the new PALB2 gene discovered in breast cancer as I do not need to be tested.

I sat with my oncologist and had many questions answered and given new options as well. 
I was told I'm a candidate for a lumpectomy in my right breast only and could leave the left and a large portion on my right. Here are the negatives associated with that. It leaves me with an 30% chance of breast cancer recurring. I would also have to endure many mammograms and surgical biopsies well as the fear of looking over my shoulder and waiting on test results.

With a double mastectomy, I have a less than 7% of my current cancer returning in the first 3 years than much lower and cured at 5 years. I will never need a biopsies nor mammogram or to live in fear and worry. 
Over my life time (living to 90) I have a life time 1.3 % divided by all those years of ever getting another or different cancer! So that's a blessing with triple negative!
It is a easy no brainier" for Rob and I, as we are admitted on having a double mastectomy in December or January. I have over a 65% chance of being cancer free at the time of surgery! I feel God is helping me achieve that goal!
I have the top three "dream team" of an oncologist, surgeon, and reconstructive physicians

 as my doctor yesterday concurred and asked me how did you manage to find us all? I said God lead me to you! He agrees and said God gave him his ability to help others.
My 3rd chemo treatment yesterday was a little more difficult as I was in bed at 7 feeling a tad yucky but slept well and as I prayed about it I feel  back to normal today! 
I only have 1 more treatment on my current drugs as they are the most difficult. 
I have an ultrasound on 9-19 and get to see what we can no longer feel as it will be normal tissue! 
Cant wait. Then I start my new drugs that day so my side effects should be even lesser as I will continue to sail through. 

I'm told the double mastectomy in December I will then have spacers placed and gradually filled the they stay in place approximately 6 months until they are exchange for an implant. I will meet with my plastic- reconstructive  surgeon on  Monday to get a clearer picture and make some decisions as to the path I will take. I am not sure I  want skin graphs nor tissue taken from my body to reconstruct with my own fat, so the implant may be my coarse. How ever a skin sparing mastectomy it   It involves removing the nipple and surrounding areola, and then removing the cancerous breast tissue through the opening. The surgeon leaves most of the breast skin, creating a natural skin envelope that is immediately filled with the patient’s own tissue from another area of the body. The transferred tissue is used to rebuild the shape of your breast, leaving a reconstructed breast that will have the same look and texture as your natural breast. The overall advantage of the skin sparing mastectomy is that it improves the cosmetic outcome and gives the best option for reconstruction.

We will be informed and armed with knowledge and will make that decision as we have time to ponder over it.

Rob and I also made a decision to not have a repeat pet scan in December as my Doctor told us it has no barring on my treatment and all answers will be given through my pathology report and the time of my surgery. I will follow surgery with radiation to ensure we get any microscopic  cells unseen. 

I've said this is a marathon however we have been blessed with may questions answered, doors opened and new found friends, blessings that lead us on the correct path to my full recovery! 

( The photo of my children was taken by T&T Photography and for cancer patients its FREE OF CHARGE!) Tonya the owner is a survivor and an amazing photographer that is paying it forward and helping others! She is also open to the general public! her email is 
http://www.tandtphotographync.com/


God bless 

Please keep up the prayers! They are working!

www.gofundme.com/I-will-beat-cancer

As always if you can help with my mountain of medical bills or precipitations my medical account link is above

Some questions are meant to be answered and some God has the answers as I trust in him~

Modern 21st century medicine is not an exact science. Do not get me wrong I appreciate the era I live in and the access to knowledge, physicians, and modern medicine. It does vary however and ultimately my husband and I are able to study the facts and make decisions as well to assist in my recovery. Just a year ago in trails was carboplatin discovered to improve TNBC (triple negative breast cancer) percentages at the time of surgery to be cancer and margin free. The goal at my mastectomy time is to take as few lymph nodes as possible so my chances for lymphedema are much lower. Lymphedema can occur anytime after surgery (years later) and is incurable, it causes swelling in the arm tissue but they do have treatments. The fewer lymph nodes  they remove is the goal.
My entire TNBC journey is a road full of stepping stones and stairs to gradually climb, as it is a marathon the I must pace myself and will inevitability win.
It is a gradual discovery of answers, knowledge, achievement of milestones, miracles, blessings every step I make along the way.

I thought that originality I had a tumor around 3.7 cm and one lymph node under my arm at biopsy time, then the pet scan showed three hot spots (very small) around my upper ribs (in my breast tissue) . I thought the hots spots where cancer. I am told by an oncologist they very well may not be. They are very difficult to biopsy and not really relative only for staging.  My stage lllc or if the hot spots did not show and where never part of my staging I would still receive the same treatment so for me its interesting but not relative. The only way to know for sure is to have a repeat pet scan in December. If the hot spots show then we know they where never cancer, and if they are gone then we know they where. The pet scan is the one that requires radio active dye and I can not be around children for 24 hours. I do not want to put that in my body again to answer a question that is not important nor does it  pertain to my recovery. I will receive another ultra sound soon to get a look as I'm excited to not see the tumor I originally saw, and to physically see what we no longer feel and to see  normal looking breast from my excellent chemo response.
I have responded so well to chemo after my second treatment the doctor can no longer feel my tumor nor lymph node. Thanks be to God! and GOOD RIDDANCE!

I am told my current chemo drugs are the most difficult to endure and with my good tolerance, lack of nausea  fatigue, and many other side effects this is par for my coarse. As my new chemo drugs in September that are administered weekly as far better tolerated so I will continue to sail through. Gods blessing, and his giving me strength and endurance to sustain normality and ability to be a mother and win my marathon.

As we receive answers to questions there is more to discover as it is a gradual process. We meet with my doctor on Friday and then with a plastic surgeon (reconstruction specialty surgeon) on Monday.
That will enable Rob and I to then sit down and make some decisions next week as to the path to sustain and God is leading us down toward my full recovery.
There are unknowns by us (God knows) that will not be answered until January (surgery time). Once my surgeon and pathologist during my mastectomy test my original under arm lymph node and we see how few need to be removed then we see a radiologist to determine how many weeks of radiation I'm given.
Once radiation is complete at some point I will then have an additional surgery to have my spacer removed, implant put in, a nipple made from my skin, and then tattooed for color. A mastectomy removes all breast tissue and nipples to ultimately achieve a life time result of  being cancer free and no recurrence. Spacers are placed behind the muscle as you have no breast to hold an implant in place. Spacers are gradually filled with saline over a period of time to stretch the muscle and make room for the implant.
I'm told the end result looks beautiful and natural. The key is to choose the best oncologist, surgeon, and reconstructive surgeon and radiologist team you can. I am very blessed in my  "dream team" God has lead me to.

I have minor hiccups as my WBC (white blood cell count was a bit low yesterday) so I was given an additional neupogen shot and it will bring my WBC count up  as it works quickly so I can have my chemo treatment Friday.
The key is after chemo to take your anti nausea medicine, rest at night, if you get that "metal tastes in your mouth" get mints or tic tac's and they are very helpful. If you get mouth sores ask your doctor for a prescription of "magic mouth rinse" it works.  Be proactive and stay on top of your side effects. Be positive, your mental attitude will take you far and really helps in your recovery .Do NOT believe what you read on the internet. Pray and trust in God as he is carrying you too. Know cancer is NOT a death sentence by any means and your prognosis is good and it is treatable and curable. I'm sailing through this journey and "ROCK IN" chemo with 5 kids and you can too!


I continue to be optimist and excited about my future and life and have no fear as I'm so blessed every step of the way. God is great and so are all you angels in my life and I have met and continue to meet on my journey.
Life is full of great blessings every single day. I will attend at my children s graduations, football games, dance recitals, weddings, and hold their hands, guide them through all the milestones and celebrations in life. I will make a full recovery and take the knowledge and strength from this journey to help others. My life is a gift and a blessing I will enjoy everyday.
I will update over the weekend as I'm awaiting my doctors appointment of Friday and my chemo treatment #3 of 4 on my current drugs them 9-18 new drugs. Excited to be almost done on my first regimen.


God Bless

www.gofundme.com/I-will -beat-cancer